I think a lot!

Ok…I think a lot.  I think all day long.  I think about things in my life.  I think about people.  I think about places.  I think about my past, present and future.  I think about yesterday, the day before yesterday, and the day before that.  I think about tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and the day after that.  I think about things that I should have handled differently.  I think of how to correct the past.  I think about good memories.  I think a lot.  I had a friend once that would always ask me what I was thinking.  I found that strange…but secretly loved it because I felt that she really wanted to know. 

Anyway, I was thinking about my blog from yesterday.  You know, the one about hugs.  I do love hugs.  I really do.  I just feel awkward about giving them.  See, on Sunday, I gave a hug to a dear friend of mine.  She means a lot to me and has been there to listen when I have just needed to talk.  When I hugged her, she got all teary eyed.  Why? Because I am extremely incredible (ok…I am being sarcastic).  I am not sure why she was teary-eyed.  See it is that hug thing again?  It is just so awkward for me. I worry about what others think.

Then, I remembered a hug that I gave awhile ago.  Sit back…let me share a story with you.   I was curled up on my couch when the doorbell rang.  My roommate went and answered the door.  It was for me.  It was a friend that I had not seen in a long time.  I was so excited to see her.  I jumped up, ran (Ok…walked) to her, gave her a hug and just started talking.  I was SO excited to see her.  Let me say that again…I was SO excited to see her.  She handed me some cookies and told me that she could not stay.  She said that she had to get going and could only stop briefly.   I will stop the story there because the next 28 seconds doesn’t pertain to the hug story.  See…I was just as excited to see her as the girl that I ran into yesterday was excited to see me.  Perhaps, I might have been a little more excited than I would admit.  I think about how I just jumped up and gave her a hug.  That is definitely not normal for me.  I wouldn’t want to bring any awkwardness on anyone.  Why do I second guess myself when it is a true emotion?  I was excited to see her…very excited to see her…that is why I hugged her and started talking a zillion miles an hour.  If I wanted to give her a hug…I should.  Right?  Hmm…see, this is why I shy away from hugs.  I just feel so awkward going outside my comfort zone!!  GAH!!!  I wish I was different when it comes to these types of moments in my life.

The things that I contemplate in this brain of mine!!  GAH!!!

~Michelle!