Sunday, June 8, 2014

A sense of peace...

Day 66…

 
I have had something weighing on my mind for quite a while. I have been trying to figure out how to understand and how to get over it, what is meant by all of it, why I cannot let it go or overcome this thing that monopolized my thought process.  Last night, I was talking to one of my close friends and I shared a couple of thoughts and then, I shared with her that I was trying with all of my might to overcome a certain situation that I asked her why I cannot overcome this thing.  I am not the type of person to hold grudges. I try really hard to figure out how to move through a trial and overcome it especially this one.  She asked me last night why I thought that I was holding onto this painful experience.  I had responded to her that I really wasn’t sure. 

Today, she came to speak with me.  She told me that she had been pondering my question and she thinks that she has an answer.  She said that it is because of protection.  I asked her what she meant and she shared some thoughts.  I am protecting myself from getting hurt again.  Oh my goodness…that is the answer.

 I am not crazy.

This is a normal instinct.

I am protecting myself.   

If I forget what happened then I am opening my heart up to be hurt again.   This makes so much sense. I cannot even begin to express how I felt when she shared her thoughts.  It is so true.  If I let it go, I have space in my heart to let it happen again—whether it is intentional or not.  It was like a burden was lifted from my shoulders.  I haven’t forgotten about it nor has that part of my heart been healed but there was this amazing understanding of how I feel.  I am protecting my heart so that she doesn’t hurt it again.  I know that I need to turn this entire thing over to our Heavenly Father so that he can take it away.  I just feel so much better about it. Then, I got thinking even more and received more insight. If I take something out of my heart, I have to replace it. 

I feel a sense of peace knowing that I can get over this.  I really can!! 

 

~Michelle

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