I have had
something weighing on my mind for quite a while. I have been trying to figure
out how to understand and how to get over it, what is meant by all of it, why I
cannot let it go or overcome this thing that monopolized my thought
process. Last night, I was talking to
one of my close friends and I shared a couple of thoughts and then, I shared
with her that I was trying with all of my might to overcome a certain situation
that I asked her why I cannot overcome this thing. I am not the type of person to hold grudges.
I try really hard to figure out how to move through a trial and overcome it
especially this one. She asked me last
night why I thought that I was holding onto this painful experience. I had responded to her that I really wasn’t
sure.
Today, she came to
speak with me. She told me that she had
been pondering my question and she thinks that she has an answer. She said that it is because of protection. I asked her what she meant and she shared
some thoughts. I am protecting myself
from getting hurt again. Oh my goodness…that
is the answer.
I am not crazy.
This is a normal instinct.
I am protecting
myself.
If I forget what
happened then I am opening my heart up to be hurt again. This
makes so much sense. I cannot even begin to express how I felt when she shared
her thoughts. It is so true. If I let it go, I have space in my heart to
let it happen again—whether it is intentional or not. It was like a burden was lifted from my
shoulders. I haven’t forgotten about it
nor has that part of my heart been healed but there was this amazing
understanding of how I feel. I am
protecting my heart so that she doesn’t hurt it again. I know that I need to turn this entire thing
over to our Heavenly Father so that he can take it away. I just feel so much better about it. Then, I
got thinking even more and received more insight. If I take something out of my
heart, I have to replace it.
I feel a sense of
peace knowing that I can get over this.
I really can!!
~Michelle
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