HOPE!

I have been pondering a conversation that I had last week and still haven’t been able to resolve it.  I was standing in the chapel of the Stake Center where I had finished watching the General Young Women broadcast.  I was feeling this great amount of peace.  I felt that it was extremely inspiring.  Young women and leaders were approaching me to hug me and to say hi.  I was greeting each one of them and while doing this my heart was being filled with an indescribable sense of peace and warmth.

Then, a young woman and her mother approached me. 

“Sister G?” 

I respond by cheerfully saying, “Hi.”

She said that she had been thinking about me during one of the talks and had discussed it with the sweet ladies sitting around her. She felt that she needed to share this profound thought that was discussed with me.  (Oh great…who were the people around her?)

She referenced Sister Mary Cook’s talk. The conversation went something like this…oh, before I share with you the conversation…I would like to note that several people were standing around me to hear this profound conversation.

She continues while motioning to a group of mothers and young women, “As Sister Cook was speaking, we were thinking about you.  You are not 37 are you?  Because you can still have hope.  Please have hope. There is someone out there for you. See, Sister Cook is proof.”

I wasn’t sure what to say or how to react.  I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes.  I took the easy road and started giggling.  I told her thank you for letting me know that I still can have hope and was grateful for her concern.  (Secretly, I was thinking…are you serious?  You really are telling me this in front twenty or so people and wanting me to react in a positive matter.  Serious?)

Proud that she was able to instill hope in me with her kindness and words, she hugged me and walked away.

I was mortified.  My greatest goal in life is to be married to a wonderful man and have amazing children.  Why did she have to remind me of something that I didn’t have.  Interestingly,  I am approached by people who feel the importance of telling me things of this type of nature.  Do they enjoy to see the panic on my face or hear the quiver in my voice.  I should be used to this but I will let you in on a little secret…it hurts.  It hurts…an indescribable hurt.  I hope…ha ha…there is that word…I hope that I am starting to get really good at spontaneous giggling. 

By the way..let me share another secret…I haven’t given up hope.  I have faith that all will work out in the end.  I know that my Heavenly Father loves me just as much as he loves this dear sister (who has been blessed with a husband and lots of children). I know this…I truly do.

~Michelle