a view from the pulpit…

  Stake Conference time is a where I feel like I can gain a little bit of energy in my testimony or maybe a sense of rejuvenation.  I have always enjoyed it.

This time,  our Stake President asked us to be prepared (warned us)  to share our testimony.  The thought crossed my mine—“what if he called me to share my testimony?”  Of course, I quickly dismissed that thought because there are thousands of people that attend Stake Conference that have amazing testimonies and would be able to touch so many people.  I don’t feel like I am one of those types of people.   So, I never really thought much about it after that moment.   I know that I have a testimony and I know that it is as strong as it needs to be for me to endure life.  Often when people bear their testimony, I start to compare mine to his or hers.  Lately, I have tried really hard to just focus on mine and not to compare it to others.  Sometimes, the focusing works and sometimes it doesn’t.

So, the general session of Stake Conference was today.  I sat in the balcony (I will admit…I love sitting in the balcony because there is a greater view of people to watch).  Anyway, my friend, Jen, sits down, leans over and asks, “So, Michelle, are you ready to bear your testimony today?”  I giggled.  I was not feeling any type of anxiety nor was my heart pounding with nerves.  I assured her that I was not going to be called upon.  I told her that I was not nervous and if I was going to have to share my testimony—I am sure that the Spirit would testify to me (and the nerves and anxiety would have already started). 

It was almost 3:30 pm, the Stake President stands and announces the rest of the meeting.  There would be 2 more speakers and then, the following people will need to gather their thoughts together to share their testimony.  He announces the first name—I giggle because I know the person that he just announced.  Then, life stood still when I hear, “…and then we will hear from Sister Michelle Gren…”

Are you serious?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?  Yes, I did say it quite loudly.  The people around me heard what I said and started to laugh.  I could not believe that this was happening to me. 

As I made my way down from the balcony, I realized just how many people were in attendance.  I was not sure if I was going to have a heart attack—my heart was pounding so loudly. 

As I listened to the person before me share his testimony—he shared experiences and scriptures of all sorts.  I started to think that I was so inadequate to share my testimony.  I really did not have anything to offer.  My heart started pounding and I thought that I was going to pass out.  Then, a thought came to mind—”Why are you comparing yourself to the person talking.  The Stake President called upon YOU to share YOUR testimony-that is all he has asked YOU to do.”  I started to breathe a little bit better.

I waited until the appropriate time and started up the stairs to the pulpit.  If you have been in the Provo Tabernacle, you know that there is a zillion stairs to climb.  I kept thinking…don’t trip, don’t fall, don’t pass out…don’t trip, don’t fall, don’t pass out…

As I stood at the pulpit, there was an amazing view--thousands of people gathered together to worship.  It was the most breath-taking view.  I can not even describe it.  All of a sudden, there was an amazing surge of energy that filled my whole entire body.  It was so exhilarating!!  I was able to share my testimony…my very own testimony.  The things that I shared, I truly believe and know.  I am grateful for that powerful experience!!  It was incredible--the feelings that I felt inside are indescribable.

…and it all came from a view from the pulpit.

Michelle