It has been a long…very long two weeks. I think that I have had every kind of emotion that is possible. A couple of weeks ago, I woke up with an ache in my chest on the left side. Then, it turned into a horrible pain. I knew that it was time to visit with the doctor...something was not right. They took my vitals-normal. They ran an EKG-normal. He sent me to the hospital to have a three different tests on my heart-normal. The pain and the ache continued.
Early last week, I received a phone call for more tests. I was scheduled for a CT scan on Thursday where they would check for cancer cells from my neck to my waist. When I heard the nurse say that dreaded word-CANCER. My heart literally took a nose dive. Are you serious? Then, I remembered the words from a priesthood blessing that I had previous the first set of heart tests. He said, “This is in the Lord’s hands. If He wants you continue serving and promoting the Lord’s work upon this earth, you will be healed.” I found a great amount of peace. Don’t miss read that...I did have peace–but, I was scared at what the peace might bring. I could not even say that ugly word. I told my parents that I was scared. I did not want to know if I have cancer. My mom said that everything would be okay...but, I knew it from her voice...she was scared too! I thought long and hard what it would mean if I did have it. How would I deal with it? One fear came that if I did have it, I was nervous that they would release me from my calling. The young women in our stake bring me such happiness and a hope for life.
It had already been a couple of weeks of sleeplessness...I knew that it would continue.
The night before the scan, I was really restless. A friend dropped by to see me and I shared everything with her. I told her that I was scared–I have never been scared like this before in my entire life. When I said that ugly word that night…it was so difficult to keep composure. I am so glad for her sweetness that night as she just listened. Yes, just listened to all my fears!! I needed that. I was scared!! Thank you so much!!
The morning of my scan, I received a phone call from my mom. She was scared!! I could tell it from her voice. Then, the call came from my Dad. He reassured me that everything would be okay. I started to cry and did not stop. I love my parents. They are such great examples to me and such great deal of strength. I have had to rely on them a lot lately. They have such amazing faith. I am grateful that they are my parents.
Mom went with me to the scan. She waited patiently in the waiting room (patience…is not one of my mom’s strengths). But, she waited.
I am thankful for the sweetest radiology tech. She was so kind and gentle. We talked about cancer and what would happen if I had it. She was just so sweet. The CT scan was pretty cool. Definitely nothing that I would ever want again...but it was interesting. After the scan, she said that she would rush the results through. She said I should know in 48 hours. She said that she could tell that I was really nervous and sad. She would do all she could to rush them through.
On the way out the door, everything hit me...emotionally and physically. I was so sick. I was so nauseous. I was so scared. I am thankful for a sweet mom...who kept trying to cheer me up. I came home and slept for hours. (I am thankful for understanding people at work–who have been so patient with me not being there).
Then, the call came...I looked at the number and started shaking. I was so scared. The first words out of the nurses mouth was...”There is NO sign of cancer.” I took a deep breath. She said, “Isn’t that the greatest news?” Yes, it is!!!
When I called my mom...she took a deep breath...I knew that she had been waiting for the results. Then, I called Dad...the same!! I do not have cancer. I have never been so grateful to say that!!! I am doing the happy dance and will continue doing it over and over again. It has been a rough week. I have so much to be grateful for...yes, I do!!
When I arrived to work later that day, Vieve saw me coming down the hall. I yelled, “No Cancer”. She rushed to me and gave me the hugest hug. She would not let go. I know that those that I work with kept me in their prayers. In fact, I know that I was in a lot of prayers and have been for these past two weeks. I know that these results are from those prayers. Thank you…every single one of you…for your prayers in my behalf!! I am so grateful!!!
I am still tired, exhausted and in pain...but, I can handle anything. I do have the strength to do so. I have amazing parents. I have amazing friends. I know the strength that prayer brings!!
I do not have cancer!!! I love those words!!! Oh, it is a great day to be alive!!!
Michelle
